Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation. – George Washington Friendship
I have let few people inside my inner world. I call very few friends. However, when I call you a friend, it is indefinite, and you are then loved truly, by me. I do not use the word ‘friend’ lightly. I have been a loner my whole life, self-proclaimed, and felt ‘socially awkward’ in front of others – always. Still do. And I compare myself to others frequently, despite knowing my gifts and worth. I have settled – and still do – with emotional unavailable men who want me as a ‘friends with benefits’, and then judge me for it, or I judge myself . By myself, those who know these individuals, and by them themselves, when I began to pull away. Yet, some, still reel me in…
I wanted to play human, have human experiences but… my light has been hidden. My worth needs to be shown to the world. I need to stop lying to myself and self-betrayal must go, NOW. This is why, authentic relationships are so important to me… especially, now. I released a lot on 8.8.2021, on Lionsgate. Now, time for me honor what I released.
I am still insecure because of my ‘girlish’ looks and meek exterior. However, I have made a few friendships that I call friendships the past few months, since adopting my Queensland Heeler, Blu, on 8.25.2021. These newfound friendships have taught me a lot about myself, who I want to be, and who I need to still let go of. More to come on this self-reflection at another time, as this was an old, saved quote meant to be posted back in Mid-September. However, life happens, and continues to do so. I will self-reflect on this past year in another post at the end of the year most likely.