“When one has such experiences – dreams coming true – one acquires a certain respect for the potentialities and arts of the unconscious. Only, one must remain critical and be aware that such communications may have a subjective meaning as well. They may be in accord with reality, and then again, they may not. I have, however, learned that the views I have been able to form based on such hints from the unconscious have been most rewarding… I will acknowledge that I have a “myth” which encourages me to look deeper into this whole realm. Myths are the earliest form of science. When I speak of things after death, I am speaking out of inner prompting, and can go no farther than to tell you dreams and myths that relate to this subject.” – C.G. Jung
I had a long dream – or several dreams blending into one, I am not sure. I remember first of an early evening scene. I am getting off work and heading somewhere to eat dinner. I text and called Jesse G I believe, thinking I was going to meet him as typical for dinner. I was thinking in my dream of directions to the place. I believe I drove to Marcus and Amanda’s, and there Debbie was, Marcus’s mom, and she stated she’d like to take me out to dinner. I’m assuming to get to know me better since we haven’t’ talked much, and since I’m now family being Marcus’s sister-in-law. On second thought, I met her at some place within a huge parking lot. We visited with some people I didn’t’ know. When it was time to leave, she stated to meet her at the restaurant and asked where I parked my car.
Upon leaving this brick building I noticed the vastness of the large, crowded parking lot and couldn’t’ remember where I parked my car. Thoughts of self-doubt and negative thoughts of low self-esteem formed like ‘this happens every time. Why do I always forget?’ I’m stupid’.
I looked to Debbie who smiled pleasantly but her eyes reflected impatience. I felt judged, for she is intense in demure.
Time went on. Row after row we walked and it seemed as time went on, the rows became longer. Time went on, I lingered at each black car, hoping it’s mine. 30 minutes later (it felt like) I found my car. At that time, I felt Debbie regretted inviting me to dinner. I felt she was thinking ‘this is why I don’t invite ‘others’ to dinner’.
I drove to the restaurant with a racing heart and mind full of doubt. Upon arriving it appeared to be a pricy café, I assume like Garden Café in Yuma AZ. Inside it appeared like a larger Olive Garden. Once Inside I struggled finding the table, and my legs felt like rubber or led. It felt the more I moved forward, going from table to table, the slower I got. I felt stuck. I finally found Deb’s table, and present were some of her friends, apparently, she invited others along the way to the restaurant.
I felt like leaving but I stayed, not participating much in the conversation, feeling left out and not good enough with the big talk and bragging the group was spewing. In time the meal ended, but I again had trouble finding my way out of the large crowded restaurant, another pattern.
The dream switched to night, and the lingering feeling of self-doubt and sad thoughts lingered. I believe I was now at Amanda and Marcus’s, it seemed like a party of some kind, laid back. I don’t remember faces too well. I remember holding a cigarette, 100 Marbol Red or something, and I craved to light it. I did, and smoked it in three long drags without a cough. I soon wanted another, so I searched for one and finally found one. I don’t even smoke.
I assume, then, I woke up.