Dream entry: the Inner Experience

From: Memories, Dreams, Reflections

“Wherever there is a reaching down into innermost experience, into the nucleus of personality, most people are overcome by fright, and many run away… The risk of inner experience, the adventure of the spirit, is in any case alien to most human beings. The possibility that such experience might have psychic reality is anathema to them. All very well if it has a supernatural or at least a “historical” foundation. But psychic? Face to face with this question, the patient will often show an unsuspected by profound contempt for the psyche.”

Dream entry: 8/09/11

When I woke up, I could remember very little of it, but my animus, the one who usually tries to kill me in these types of dreams, appeared to me right before I was going to wake up the first time and explained the events of the dream as they were happening. Had flash back from the beginning, he then began to explain, though I can’t remember all he said. I could almost see him clearly, which rarely happens. He didn’t have a physical form. He was of static, and shadowy. He had no eyes, just black holes. Same with the mouth, he was an outline of a being, maybe of a soul not yet lived. He had a rough voice, it wasn’t friendly. Usually just the tone of his voice would have awoken me, but I still remained asleep.
It was a repeat of a similar dream, but it knew how the dream would go. The moment I did, was when my animus appeared. A man dies in it who was yelling at another man. He swallowed something, which I found odd. Then he collapsed. I wondered why, and my animus said it was him swallowing his pride, which killed him. The man was going to kill the man he was arguing with, but as soon as he stepped foreword he put his hand over his mouth and then collapse on the ground (swallowed his pride) the other man went up to him to see if he was ok, even though he knew the man almost killed him. The man who died was black, he looked similar to the cannibal that was after me in another dream I had earlier this year. He had cornrows in this dream. The man he was about to kill was white. I got this feeling that they were, or once were, friends.

Before this scene I saw the man who just died running down the street, by the way the dream was set in city I never been in. This happened outside a red brick building, looked like a café. It had patio tables and chairs in the front of it, a lot of people were around but they didn’t notice anything going on. They didn’t notice the two men arguing and one dying. The man was running because he stole a ladies purse. He pushed her, even… think might have raped right there in the street, I don’t know. All I know is that the woman could not get up from where she laid on the sidewalk.

I am not sure when I realized he was going to be after me, think I was the lady at first. But when I was about to wake up and my… I’ll say animus appeared. The lady became a different lady; she was older and didn’t look like me.

The Robbery and rape symbolizes, to me, the taking of dreams and forced to go down the path others choose of me. The man swallowing his pried is me accepting who I am, swallowing my pride so my old self can die and so I can get to know my true self. Symbol of fate… old self DEAD.

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