I have 7 “worlds” in my head that will be novels one day. Published novels? I don’t know. Some day, my day dreams of childhood that evolved into parts of me, will be put on paper. Yes, they are still in my mind, and yes, the characters do appear to this day, in my conscious mind. No, I am not crazy (though I use to think I was when I was a kid, like why was I seeing these images and talking to them?), I always knew they were in my head. I know now, it is because I was alone a lot, by choice, or maybe I did not know how to socialize with others comfortably, something I still struggle with today, but at least I have a few friends now, and family is and has always been there for me, they have kept me sane. Thank life for that (lol).

These ‘poems’ or lines of random writing came to me toward the end of 2015 and again in the summer of 2016, when a life transition was happening (first professional job, a fling I was interested in but he didn’t want anything more, becoming less introverted). It was inspired for a Young Adult novel I am writing, of an at-risk Youth with a psychological condition triggered by a traumatic childhood. This novel was influenced by the book ‘Cut” by Patricia McCormick. This novel came to me in a period of depression, and formed in my mind at the age of 17ish. I will share more as it evolves.

Featured Image found on: The Spirit that Moves me FB page. Artist/photographer: Randall Nyof

Circle of Pain [6.11.16]

Try in any way

To make it everyday

Just to watch it burn

 

Try in every way

Just to make you stay

But there’s only hurt

A lesson learned

Another bridge burned

 

Another day

In a circle of pain

 

The flames rise higher

The flames of desire

Only to go up in smoke

no more toke

 

la la la, la la la, ‘mmhmm hm

~*~

This novel is a mix of love, heartache, and growing up. It’s related to the late adolescent years, ages 16 through 22 possibly. Names may change, but I will call the main love interests in the book “Ana & Mike”. How their love comes to be is something unpredictable, maybe fate has a thing to do with it. I may sound clique in how I am explaining my story, but one day it will make sense, just stay tuned and see for yourself!

Below isn’t a poem, just random scattered thoughts in a moment when my thoughts were racing. Each tidbit has a meaning to me though, but may just look crazy to you, ha.

I saw a [blue guitar], an [Alter-ego] and [Ana’s love song] was forming along with [Mike’s] and a mysterious pair of [blue eyes].

“There was a boy

I once knew

With eyes a

Perfect blue” [part of a poem I wrote ‘Dark Uncertainty’ hyperlink]

 

“Storm forming

Dark uncertainty”

 

“Blue eyed boy was her mother’s favorite

Another child born from a broken heart disease” [this line is obviously from a song, one headlight, but it went along with what I was thinking at the time]

 

“My life’s passing before my eyes

The lights diminished

I am moving on” [song rascal flats probably came to my mind with this line ‘I’m moving on’]

 

One day these random tidbits of inspiration will make sense, maybe.