Sacred Words, Entry 8: Happy New Year from 2016

I’ve accomplished a few of the goals mentioned within this entry, like: Driver’s license and a car, starting a new job (though not with children and families as I had hoped, but hopefully soon within the next couple months), began a graduate degree, Masters in Social Work, to which I hope to be done by the end of the year (If I can land my final internship, some promising options at the moment but nothing set in stone). I am still working on conquering my fears, and pushing through my social anxiety has been a struggle, but slowly and surely I am, and I have learned a lot about myself the past couple years. That is life, though, year by year we learn more about who we are and grow into a more authentic person. If we do not, then, in my opinion, we slowly self destruct. I still enjoy the woman I am and becoming. I still have big dreams I hope, in some form, to come true. My nighttime dreams still revolve around a labyrinth, too.

1.1.2016

Good morning, New Year, you will be a great one.

The past 2 nights I’ve had conflicting dreams. I can’t describe any vivid images or paint a mental picture, but I can state the emotion of the dreams.

The past 2 nights, well more like an hour or 2 before I awoke in the morning, I’ve had an intense dream of traveling down a winding, dark, passageway. As I walk along the passageway I meet ‘archetypes’ of my unconscious. I would go into deep discussion with the ‘angry’ part of my mind. At times the feeling of terrorism and severally mentally ill individuals doing harmful things to society came up. The moment I felt to flee, to wake up, those thoughts would leave me and I’d walk on. The only image I can remember in some detail is of a man in a white tank top and faded blue jeans, with a buzzed cut, as if he could be a criminal. He appeared half white, half Mexican. He was the angry one, I can’t remember our conversation (s), there were 2 others present as well, but they were blurry in image. The scene was dark, like if I was within some gallows or something.

The discussions in the dreams, based on my feelings, are of the important decisions I’ll soon make that will enhance my life but also give me more responsibility. I will drive soon for my new job, meaning somehow obtaining my own set of wheels. My new job will be great, working with kids and families in the community. I may begin a wilderness survival course in Prescott meaning my first long drive away from home on my own. I may begin a masters program as well, adding more responsibility to myself. I am in the process of editing White Diamond and learning the business to become a successful published author.

Many great things are coming my way. I’m scared, nervous, but pushing myself forward. These emotions are reflecting in my dreams. I want to make the best decisions for myself and not lose out on opportunities due to fear.

All is happening as it should. I am proud of the woman I’m becoming. Peace & ❤

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