“Imagine the waterfall. Feel the power of the water rushing forward, cascading down over the rocks. Nothing stands in its way, nothing stops it force. It doesn’t have to push against anything to do this. The energy it possesses is so vast that it can overcome anything just by allowing that energy. The channel in the river bed focuses the force and then frees it to dance joyously over the edge, frothing and foaming, leaping in a cacophony of sound.

“Life at times seems to be a struggle. Energy can be lacking. But perhaps it is still there, hidden behind the dam you have built to block it. Is it pressing against those walls? Can you feel it? Why did you dam that force? If you release the flow of energy into your life it will carry you effortlessly towards your goals and desires. It will focus its power in your physical and energetic body and give you back the vitality you are missing. The waters in you are still. There are times when still water is needed, but the pool within you is growing stagnant. It needs the oxygen that breathes life back into you.

“Spend some time imagining the dam you have built. You may know why you have built it, or you may not. It matters little now. What is important is to destroy it. Reach behind the dam. Let yourself become one with that powerful force that is straining to be released. See it seeping through the bricks and mortar, weakening the wall. Gradually the bricks start to move. Parts of the wall crumble a way. Then with a sudden burst of power the water is free to cascade down, through the crown of your head into your body, flooding you with vital energy. Feel its force, feel its power and let it on its way. Keep the doors open for it to continually flow into, around and out of your body. This power is yours. It needs you as you need it. It connects you to everything. Feel it, allow it and know that it takes more effort to hold it back than it does to let it flow.”Source: Indigo readings

There are things in life I want so badly, and when they are in my reach, I fear them due to insecurities, and my biggest mental fear: failure.

Once I make my mind up to do something, and first step is a success, but the next challenging step that is not so predictable, I second guess myself and question my actions – what I’ll say, do, or if I’m too inexperienced to accomplish the goal, to obtain what I feel I desire. All these insecurities I burry deep down inside me, all the ‘negative’ voices/thoughts, and past memories of ‘failing’ come to the surface, overflowing to the point of being scattered, hard to pin point.

Voices

March 24^th, 2016

Voices of my pass haunt me

Taunt me

Never letting me be

Voices tell me I am no good

And to give up, they say I should

Voice echo in my mind

Past, present, and future in hindsight

A place where I fear the heights

One voice gives me a choice

Against the hasty noise

Of thoughts created

Ones I’ve hated

Ones I’ve mated with sad beliefs

Ones, to give relief

But no Voices did cease

Like a disease, there is no cure

This I am sure

Only the nerve to give in

To the Voices from within

My mind, a sad state

Of Voices with no namesake

No face to call their own

Nowhere to call home

Voices of the past

That must pass

Voice of the present

That are full of hesitance

Voices of the future

Unable to let truth utter

Voices of emotions

Always going through the motions

Voices of characters

In stories yet told

Some seemly old

Voices of voices with neither up or down direction

No sound to utter

No made attraction

For a done action

Voices

Choices

Mine

To hide

To cease

To go complete

Voices of my mind

Voices

Choices

Figures

Features

Teachers

Voices, Choices,

Mind voices

Mine, to hold

Never to be told

Voices

Choices

Noises

Echoes

Voices

Choices

Features

Teachers

Voices, choices,

Mind voices

Mine.

So many voices, so many thoughts, so many memories resurface. And my first reaction is to panic, let anxiety build, and feel as if to step back, let the opportunity pass on by, while repeating “It’ll come back when I am ready, next time I will be ready.” And the next time comes, and the same ol’ feelings, same worries and insecurities, resurface – as if fate is saying: ‘Face them now, or once again hesitate and let the moment pass.’

But this time the intensity is strong, and the thoughts/emotions/memories will not cease. The voices will not cease. It is time to acknowledge these voices and thoughts, let them speak their words, but not to hold on to them. To let them float on by, like a cloud in the sky. Let it be, then let it flow.

Like the river flowing, it does not cease, even if the dam is built, it still flows. It still flows.

The leaf falling from the tree does not resist the fact it must fall and land up on the ground. It does not fall in a straight, controlled, line, but instead it falls in a flowing fashion, with the direction of the breeze, and it then lands gently up on the ground, instead of a hard crash.