I am at home when I creatively write. I feel free as I let the words flow with the rhythm I create by tapping the keys, that which are putting together letters to form words, creating a thought, image, in another person’s mind; I truly feel and let my true emotions flow in, a silent way, as I write… I hope one day to share my inner world with you all, who faithfully read my posts… I am in the process of putting my inner world on paper (through creative writing, sketch drawing, and one-day-to-be paintings)… It is a long process. I began my inner journey, the search for my Self, through creative writing, in November 2007 (at the age of 17).
As a child I use to make believe many things. I would frequently go off by myself, to my ‘secret’ place in the yard, where my siblings and friends do not go, and there I would sit quietly and daydream. Many images would come to my mind of people I have never met. They would speak to me in a manner not so different than my parents would speak. They spoke in a loving tone, that which felt like a warm embrace, that I rarely felt from others. These images became my companions as I grew up. As my psyche developed, so did these images, that which evolved from figures who spoke warmly to me, to other characters in a series of cities, towns, countries that which I have never been, never heard of…. yet when I researched them as I came of age to use the computer and Google search… the towns were real… yet the images that appeared as people were not, for none (or few) had names, and those that which had names were coded… symbolic names that related to light, enlightenment, prophecy, and teacher…. from a young age (younger than 3, as early as I can remember) I have been reminded of the light… the light within my being…
I was always the shy, reserved individual, who kept to herself; who wanted companionship but steered away from it when it was near. Despite my reserved, almost hermit like, demure I did make friends, and those friends turned into life long companions. Even though I do not see them on a daily bases, when we do meet, it is as if we have never parted, time seems meaningless in those moments of true connection and understanding with another human being. Time, is truly, irrelevant.
But, of course, it took me many years to realize the blessing of a true connection with another. It took me many years to realize I have never lost touch with my inner knowledge, my inner connection to our Life Source, and I have been unconsciously searching for like minded individuals to share my knowledge with. I have only found a few in my life, but those few have helped broaden my mind, and have showed me the way to open my heart, to find that inner light, and to let it shine through my being. I am finally beginning to understand what the ‘inner light’ really means. Through my writings and blog posts, I hope you too will feel and sense your own inner light. And when you do, I hope you, too, feel an inner peace, acceptance, of who you are now, who you are to be, and what you have always been.
Although I have found acceptance of myself, and I have learned that my quiet demure is not something to be ashamed of or to change, I still have a lot of ground to cover on my spirit journey, for it is a lifelong process. I sense and feel the warm core of my being… One day, I will truly see it, feel it… and that feeling of Self love will not go away. Then, I will be, truly, completely, free.
January first I became involved in Yoga. On September 30th I have found the path of Yoga I feel I’ll follow… It is helping me find the light within, the light I’ve felt/sensed for so long, but have yet to truly embrace it. I am not here to promote Yoga or a specific branch of Yoga. But the introduction of Yoga has truly helped me become centered, and ‘one pointed’ in thought… My path, although winding, is clearer now. I am finding my calling with the aid of an ancient practice, open religion… YOGA.
om, shanti, shanti, shantini (AUM, peace, peace, perfect peace)